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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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a day at home
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 10:30 PM
slack at home for the whole day. so sian. was raining the moment i woke up. so went to bath and then wore long pants and long sleeves shirt, those kind of formal one. but still i switched on the air-con. wahaha. now, not really that cold but my room is damn dark. today did nothing except sleep and sleep. lols. my first day to blog. the friendster one. all the sad memories. this one ma. must depends le. though i'm still sad at the moment, but i do not have a choice. do i?

will i be able to take it as i never meet you? come'on, is impossible la. if i really forget you, means something is wrong. you came into my world, turn it round and round, and you stopped. i was glad that you stopped, because it means to me that i can talk to you seriously. but I WAS WRONG! when you stopped, you took out a knife and cut open my world, my heart. blood is still flowing out. i hate for tomorrow to come, because i can never figure out what you will tell me, what you will do to me. you was not online the whole day and once u come online, all you did was to tell me something that hit my heart and more blood is gushing out. you dampened my mood, you kill the whole of me. when can you stop doing such things? argh! i hate you! 恨你悄悄得走进我的世界,影响我的视线,影响我的心情. because of what you say, you make me stop and think if i had regret what i have been doing. now i can say, i have regretted a lot so far. i do not want to regret further, but we can never go back to the beginning. you are forcing me to let you go, because you are afraid to face me. all i want is you to be happy, but you never allow me to make you happy, you never allow me to see you since 10 NOV. that was the last day i sent you home, the last day i see you, the last day i enjoyed. enjoy is because i spent half the day with you, the memories will forever be kept in my heart and never be erased.

i miss you
i miss my **
i miss my friends
i miss the days we used to spend together.

**, you must really take care of yourself arhs. if i do not worry about you, i'm not a human arhs. you never fail to cheer me up each time you sent me a message at the end of the day. when i look back at the messages, smile just appear on my face. thank you. huggies. but my heart will still be hurt, will still be in pain. lols. NEVERMIND! i will stand strong. because i do not want you to know that i'm sad. you also, this few weeks didn't see you le, miss you a lot. don't know whether you are sad or happy, just want to tell you that i will be here for you. :)
tomorrow is my bro's birthday, i mean fake one la. JASMINE TAN! you pig. sleep so much de. lols. anyway, i didn't buy you any gift la. i cannot give you what you want, because you don't allow me to do so. so i wish you all the best. take care. don't sleep soo much la hor. not good for health..wahaha. next year we won't be meeting le. hais. sad is sad, but too bad la. i rather go on my own, you can meet your friends. see, i'm good right. let you meet your friends. lols.

ok la. today shall end here. tomorrow got no job. no need be the bodyguard. lols. wonder when is my next job available. lols. nites everyone! tomorrow, will soon be over. hope you enjoy your day, and do not regret your decisions. there is still time to go back if you want, i will never leave you alone.